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Men v Women

Creation


A man said to his wife one day "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time.

"Allow me to explain", said his wife.

"God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

Who Does What


A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first and then we don't have to wait so long for our coffee".

The husband argued, "You are in charge of the cooking around her and you should do it because that's your job and I can just wait for my coffee".

The wife replied, "No, you should do it and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee".

"I can't believe that", said the husband. "Show me"

His wife promptly fetched the Bible, opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that indeed it does say:

"HEBREWS"



The Silent Treatment


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realised the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 a.m. for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and thereby LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper –

"Please wake me at 5.00 a.m.", and left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man awoke at 9.00 a.m. and realised he'd missed his flight.
Furious, he was just about to confront his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. It read –

"It is 5.00 a.m. Wake Up".

Just goes to show men are not equipped for these kinds of contest.

God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.



Wife vs Husband


A coupld drove down a country road for several miles not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an arguement and neither wanted to be the first to concede. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically -

"Relatives of yours?"

"Yes", replied his wife, "In-laws!"

Words


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day - 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife commented the reason for that was because women have to repeat everything to men.

The husband turned to his wife and said,

"What?"