I'm Not Naughty  - I'm Autistic -  Jodi's Journey    Autism, Amalgam and Me - Jodi's Journey Continues   Mercury Poisoning - It's Not In Our Heads Any More - Jodi's Journey Goes On          Supported Living- Jodi’s Journey Moves On Jean Shaw.com Copyright © 2023 All Rights Reserved www.JeanShaw.com

Created By
www.stephengraphics.com

Terms Of Use Statement   Privacy Policy   Purchase Agreement


DISCLAIMER: The information on this site is for educational purposes only and is not intended to act as a substitute for medical advice provided by a qualified health care provider, nor is any information on this site intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
AMAZON ASSOCIATE - If you decide to purchase any products recommended on this site you should assume I ay possibly receive some commission or royalties on qualifying purchases.

HEALTH : If anyone has a specific health issue you should always

seek medical advice.

Please note this site may not display properly in the AOL browser

Funny Church Bulletin Board Notices

Apparently these sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services. I found them hilarious and hope you will too.

--------------------------------------------------------------


The Fasting &Prayer Conference includes meals.


--------------------------------------------------------------


The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

--------------------------------------------------------------


Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

--------------------------------------------------------------


For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

--------------------------------------------------------------


A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

--------------------------------------------------------------


At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children..

--------------------------------------------------------------


Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

--------------------------------------------------------------


The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

--------------------------------------------------------------


The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

--------------------------------------------------------------


This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

--------------------------------------------------------------


The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

--------------------------------------------------------------


The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare' s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.

--------------------------------------------------------------


The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

--------------------------------------------------------------