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Autism And Discipline
– It’s All About Consistency
By Rachel Evans
Nearly all parents struggle to find the right way to discipline their
children, and there are some families in which discipline is lax or even non-
Three important things to remember
when it comes to dealing with discipline for autistic children is be positive, be
consistent, and to be timely.
It is recommended that most of the discipline for autistic
children be positive. This means that the positive behaviors should be rewarded as
much as possible and the negative ones should not be rewarded with a lot of attention.
This is good advice for any child, but is very important for children with autism.
When children have bad moments, it is important for a parent to figure out why. They
may just be acting out in a naughty manner, but they may also be experiencing tension
or frustration.
If they are frustrated, this is an excellent time to remove them
from the situation and to show them breathing or relaxation techniques they should
use when they feel that way to help them calm down. It might take a while, but with
some perseverance they may be able to learn to use them.
When it comes to mom and
dad, discipline must be consistent. That means that the punishment should come immediately
following the offense. If parents lack consistency they will lack control.
The same
punishments should be used each time. If parents decide they want to use the 1-
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If a time out is the punishment after ‘three’ is reached, this has to be enforced
no matter what. If not you run the risk of losing control of the moment and the situation,
and the child has learned nothing positive.
There should be no waiting for the other
spouse to get home to deal with the problem or to reprimand bad behaviour, as the
child may be confused when they are being punished long after the event took place.
Timing is essential.
However, it is important that both parents be equally involved in using discipline
so that the child does not learn to act up in front of the parent that is known to
pass the buck when these things happen.
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Each offense should be dealt with
in the same manner, as this gives the child a clear picture of what will happen when
they do something that they should not be doing. Any delayed punishments will not
work with a child who has autism.
It is also important for parents to remain calm.
Try to avoid yelling or out of control actions. If you’re feeling frustrated should
walk away from the situation to calm down. Parenting is hard for any parent, but
with the extra stress of autism, things can easily get out of control even for the
best of parents.
Each child will learn about discipline in a different way, and as
long as the punishments are just, immediate, and consistent, there should be some
progress being made. Dealing with autism and discipline is never easy, but with practice,
you can learn to cope.
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